Emily Yoffee From Slate Must Read Not Monsters: Analyzing the Stories of Child Molesters

"If we really want to understand this crime then we need to accept this fact-that most child molesters are not monsters. They are human beings who might have more in common with us than not," writes Pamela D. Schultz, author of Not Monsters: Analyzing the Stories of Child Molesters.

  Not Monsters is an academic approach to understanding why people commit such monstrous crimes like child molestation and rape. Between 1995 and 2000 Schultz conducted countless one-on-one interviews with incarcerated child molesters and rapists. She uses a self-narrative approach to document, analyze, and to tell the stories of 9 convicted sex offenders. "The focus of this book is to show the troubling statistics surrounding child sexual abuse, and its impact upon victims, perpetrators, and society, take on a new meaning when viewed through the framework of narrative, which captures the nature of a discursively created reality."

Just wait for one hot minute. Inhale. Exhale. Okay, good!  Consider this one concept: the cycle of abuse repeats itself. Schultz does not take the topic of child molestation lightly as she openly shares her own story of how 'The Man Who Molested Me' penetrated every thought, feeling, and emotion from the time she was a young girl until she graduated from her doctoral program.

It is through her  experience as a victim of sexual abuse, Schultz is able to grab her audience's attention through a thought-provoking, self-narrative analysis by nudging her reader's to leave their comfort zone, and to be open-minded enough to consider the opposing side. Though great strides, emotional outbursts, and internal conquests of me wanting to put a dagger in the heart of such monstrosity, Schultz ever-so-diligently presents a case of  'hate the crime not the person,' scenario.

Not Monsters is unique as I find myself questioning Schultz's sympathy for the offender as opposed to the victim. "To perceive a child molester as a child himself goes contrary to the expectation that he is a monster, since when we see him as someone was once vulnerable, and perhaps even innocent, suddenly he becomes difficult to hold on to the image of himself as irrevocably evil."

Justice for the person whom rapes another? Seriously? What about poetic justice for the victim? Not in all cases the abused become the abuser. Then, what?

Finish reading the paragraph...

"If we recognize that the impulses of some of these men were shaped by their experiences as children--in circumstances they had no control over--then we have to take responsibility for creating, or at the very least perpetuating, the environments that spawn such behavior. And what society wants to do with that?"

And, so this conflicted conversation that I have with myself of trying to understand Schultz's justification in sympathizing with these criminals comes to a halt when she concludes with:

"If we want to truly combat this crime, then we have to accept the premise that truth is relative and perceptions are paramount in the social constructions of sex and power that dominate our lives. Listening to the stories told by the victims of sexual abuse is only half the battle. Being willing to listen to the stories of offenders can help us win the war."

After taking an emotional stance against empathy for these "not monsters," I am then presented with an opposing scenario of  Schultz's analytical approach when I am  huffing and puffing my way through a MONSTER of a run on the elliptical while listening to The Jillian Michaels Show.

On December 2, 2013, the show airs an episode entitled Girls & Booze. Janice talks about an article that was published in Slate written by Emily Yoffe called College Women Stop Getting Drunk. In short, this is a study on college girls who are being raped by their male counterparts due to drinking too much while in a public forum. A large section in College Women Stop Getting Drunk is dedicated to encouraging women to stop drinking so they won't fall victim to sexual abuse.

Here, Jillian opens up to her audience and explains her deepest concerns that she has for her daughter, Lu (approximately 4 years old) and Phoenix (1 year old). She says that one of her worst fears--nightmares--is that her daughter will be one of those girls and her son will be one of those boys. "My biggest fear is that I will have unprepared my daughter and she will be insecure enough, naive enough for that [rape] to occur."

We are all aware of the story of the drunk 15-year-old girl that gets annihilated at a party, the male "friend" takes advantage of the girl in her weakened state and sexually abuses her. Because she is too drunk to remember, or to even know that she was raped in the first place, she finds herself being ridiculed and bullied because the idiot whom raped her, video taped it using his smart phone, and blasted it all over the Internet. This girl is wrecked. She can't take the stress and the humiliation of one bad decision and kills herself. Jillian is afraid that Lu could be this 15-year-old-girl. On the same token, Jillian is petrified that Phoenix could grow up to be THAT guy who takes advantage of THAT girl in a similar situation. Jillian says, "I know you are suppose to love unconditionally, but I don't know if I could love an individual that could do that." Janice pipes in with her words of wisdom: "hate the action, not the person." Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Yoffe writes as a resolution to end the 15-year-old- drunken-suicidal-scenario is to end the war with drunken behavior. Yoffee says, "perpetrators are responsible for committing their crimes and they should be brought to justice. But are failing to let women know they are rendering themselves defenseless, terrible things can be done to them. You women are getting a distorted message that their right to match men drink for drink is a feminist issue..."

Janice elaborates much like a college professor and says, "a woman can still be raped whether she is drunk or not. Taking away the bad activity doesn't mean that bad things won't happen." A feminist or not, we can all agree with this statement. And, here it comes...Jillian Michaels' two-sense. She adds, if the contributing factor [alcohol] is taken away, it lessens the chances of falling victim to a devastating crime. The guy is going to go after the girl that is passed out drunk, not the sober girl that can scream, "NO." Makes sense, right?

Janice, finish reading the paragraph...

"The real feminist message should be that when you lose the ability to be responsible for yourself, you drastically increase the chances that you will attract the kinds of people who shall we say don't have your best interest at heart. That's not blaming the victim; that's trying to prevent more victims."

Also, true.  However, to reflect on Not Monsters, the girl that is drunk and gets raped by her male "friend" is not the only victim in this crime. It is most likely that the perpetrator is also a victim of sexual abuse. It's not just a drink-for-drink competition. Hence, the cycle of abuse continues.

What really got me, though, about this article is that Yoffee explains that she has a teenage daughter and she expects her to drink. But, she tells her daughter to limit herself to two drinks, to sip slowly, and don't do shots.  Emily, do you really think this is going to work?

Here's an idea when relaying the message about sex, drugs, alcohol, and...sex crimes.

Why don't we as parents and mentors take the progressive point of view. After all it works in Europe, and that is, let's not make sex, drugs, and alcohol sound so deviant and promiscuous. Did we not learn anything from Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and the forbidden fruit? If it sounds bad, kids are going to dive in head first. Let's try having an open, honest, and logical conversation with our youth and say: When you drink alcohol you get drunk. When you get drunk, your inhibitions are lowered. When your inhibitions are lowered, you tend to be impulsive. Any form of logical thinking is jaded. Therefore, it is possible that you (as the intoxicated person) will have regrets when you reach sobriety.

There are two rules to live by:

1). People are shit. Period. Yes, there are good people in the world, but most generally, people are shit. People shit on you, and will continue to do so throughout your adult life. There is no reason for it. No explanation. It's just one of those unspoken entities in life.

2). There are no guarantees in life except to pay taxes and die.

If my mother told me not to take a shot of wild turkey, oh honey, you better believe, wild turkey is the first drink I am going to swallow. Forbidden Fruit, people! Need I say more? My advice on child molesters...pay less attention to the media and pick up a copy of Not Monsters. It is mind-numbing, informative and completely disturbing.

Priceless.